Anyway, on my walk to the train this morning, I 'accidentally' collided with a stranger's fart. It really upsets me that I have to blame myself in this situation, like I have to brush it off as an 'accident' when it really wasn't my fault in the first place. What a coward! To sum it up, it was not a good time. It really put meaning into being in the wrong place at the wrong time! After my confusion and disbelief dissipated yet the smell lingered, my nostrils became extremely irate and wished they could punch my brain for a few minutes. Seriously, it's bad enough that I have to endure Paul's smelly air accidents, so it pisses me off that I would have to put up with a stranger's as well. Somewhere, that guy who farted is probably laughing. He'll be laughing all day while I sit here and write about how angry he makes me. He won the battle, but he won't win the war. I'm going to try and be the better person here and file this one under 'Circumstances Beyond One's Control' because killing them with kindness really does work!
Today I let my mom read my blog. And my husband. My mom thinks I'm intelligent and witty. Paul still thinks I'm crazy. One day I'll prove him wrong. I'm a lefty so I'm taking their conclusions into consideration. They make some sort of sense to me. That reminds me! The fact that I write with my left hand, means that I will die before a right handed person would, statistically speaking of course. I'd personally like to see this in writing but I'm not sure who to request it from. Any ideas? The only sure thing I can tell you about left handed people (trust me, its coming from a reliable source) is that we don't need right handed people's pity. We also don't need you putting mittens on our left hands and telling us we're evil. To be honest all you right handers out there, we also don't need your statistics you created out of fear. Fear of something you don't understand. I've got news for you, the only thing you should fear, is fear itself. Also, what's the deal with left handed button holes? I really take this invention as an insult. A retarded seahorse could button a normal 'right handed' shirt. Don't even try to argue that seahorses don't have hands, I don't want to hear it! I found some:
Well, now seeing that you're in an argumentative mood, I know you're also going to point out that Hitler was left handed. So this makes us evil?!? What's your point? I've actually attempted Googling this and apparently this is what other people are wondering about Hitler:
In case you didn't know, Jew is short for Jewish. They're kind of the same thing. Also, if you see the last one there, that was from all the right handed people bumping this silly 'fact' up in the Google list...Typical...