People Who Like The Crap I Write About

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Are Narwhals Really Unicorns?


Definition of a Unicorn: Fabled horned horse with lots of magical powers. Adored by millions of crazy people who play Dungeons and Dragons for years on end, collect wizard figurines, wear healing crystals and love shirts with wolves howling at the moon (aka 'Wolf People').

Definition of a Narwhal: Horned whale that is real, alive and kicking (I mean swimming.) Hmmm interesting...

A little 'myth' about the two of them:

Some believe that a narwhal is actually a unicorn in disguise.
Basically, long, long ago, unicorns were hiding from their rival dragon and came to the sea with no where to hide. Thinking quickly, they used a little bit of their magic and turned themselves into horned whales and hid in the sea. Some unicorns have never changed themselves back into unicorns to this day. Hence, narwhals.

Hmmmm yeah, at first it sounded like a load of shit to me too.
But then it got me thinking...

First point:

If this isn't true, then WHY do narwhals have their own Magic card?!?!?!?!


Next point:

Famous Unicorn Sightings I stole from www.unicorncollector.com

Person Associated with the Sighting

Place of Sighting

Approximate Date

AdamGarden of EdenBeginning of time
Emperor Fu HsiChina5,000 years ago
Emperor Huang DiEmperor's garden in China2697 B.C
Emperor YaoChinaAbout 2,000 B.C
ConfuciusChina551-479 B.C
CtesiasIndia4th century B.C
Alexander the GreatAsia3rd century B.C.
Julius CaesarGermanyI st century B.C.
Prester JohnAsiaMid- I I 00s
Genghis KhanIndiaEarly 1200s

Gee, there's not a lot of unicorn sightings after the early 1200's, are there?

Perhaps this is because they all turned into narwhals!?!?

Now lets compare that to the sightings of narwhals:







And the list goes on!


Another point to be made:

Unicorns' known enemies are dragons and lions. Ok, well hey, did you know that narwhals just happen to share the sea with none other than sea lions and sea dragons?!?!? Coincidence? I'm beginning to think not!

Sea Dragon

Sea Lion

See?!? The similarities between unicorns and narwhals are uncanny!

I rest my case.

However!

You be the one to decide...

While you're pondering, listen to the wonderful Narwhal Song!






Posted by BlahCooCooBlah at 6:50 PM
Labels: , , , , , ,

42 comments:

  1. TeutorixJanuary 26, 2011 at 7:11 PM

    Your arguments are impeccable sir, narwhals are indeed unicorns.

    ReplyDelete
  2. DerrickJanuary 26, 2011 at 7:14 PM

    Yeah....awesome video!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oilfield TrashJanuary 26, 2011 at 7:20 PM

    Great argument. You are better than Johnie Cochran was.

    ReplyDelete
  4. BlahCooCooBlahJanuary 26, 2011 at 7:31 PM

    @ Teutorix - Indeed, indeed they are :)

    @ Derrick - I love it too, it's my new workout song!

    @ Oilfield Trash - Hey, if the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit! :D

    ReplyDelete
  5. SamJanuary 26, 2011 at 7:35 PM

    They are definitely not unicorns but they are fantastic creatures

    ReplyDelete
  6. mrecanJanuary 26, 2011 at 7:36 PM

    hellyeah narwhal song is awesome
    nice hypothesis you got there

    ReplyDelete
  7. M. von RohmyJanuary 26, 2011 at 7:47 PM

    *haha* great! You made me happy with another unicorn post. But i am also confused now after reading THIS... Narwhals? NO!!! Or...? Ah, no.
    :D
    R.

    ReplyDelete
  8. MRanthropeJanuary 26, 2011 at 7:58 PM

    that Narwhal stuffed animal looks like a dangerously awesome child's toy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. watchmanJanuary 26, 2011 at 8:07 PM

    1) they are not
    2) I saw that magic card and nostalgia'd. I use to play back in junior high.

    ReplyDelete
  10. my day in a sentenceJanuary 26, 2011 at 8:08 PM

    Dunno. When you think about it, if unicorns existed, they'd be pretty dangerous. I mean, come on, wild horses with huge pointy horns?!
    Shit would go down.

    ReplyDelete
  11. BTN Hip HopJanuary 26, 2011 at 8:10 PM

    damn they are badass

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousJanuary 26, 2011 at 8:42 PM

    Dem narwhals man, I should draw one, they're pretty cool

    ReplyDelete
  13. UnmotivatedJanuary 26, 2011 at 8:59 PM

    I'm going to blame you all day when people ask me what I'm singing...

    ReplyDelete
  14. IsaacJanuary 26, 2011 at 9:38 PM

    Who would win in a fight between a Narwhal and a Liger? You're featured on my post today

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousJanuary 26, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    I love that venn diagram lol

    ReplyDelete
  16. BlahCooCooBlahJanuary 26, 2011 at 9:44 PM

    @ Smile - Fantastic creatures they are :)

    @ mrecan - I love it, thanks :D

    @ rohmy - Why thank you, I'm glad to see you're following along, you just made my day!

    @ Mranthrope - haha never thought of it that way! Wonder what kind of parent would buy this?!?

    @ watchman - but how do you know for sure?!? And I tried to get in on the Magic game but I just didn't understand it all! Kudos to you for knowing how to play it! :)

    @ my life in a sentence - I have to agree with you on this, the last creature I'd want to piss off besides Rosanne Barr, is a unicorn! :)

    @ BTN Hip Hop - that they are lol

    @ A Hermit - I'd LOVE to see you draw one, DO IT!

    @ Unmotivated and lazy - uh hello?!? How do you think I feel now that I heard this song?!?! lol

    ReplyDelete
  17. BlahCooCooBlahJanuary 26, 2011 at 9:45 PM

    @ Isaac - awww you're too kind, I sprinkle good karma on you :D I'm checking it out! Btw, god why didn't I think of a liger?!?!?

    @ StockGuy - THAT'S what they're called! I couldn't think of the damn name! haha thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Suciô SanchezJanuary 26, 2011 at 10:03 PM

    Makes you think doesn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  19. BlahCooCooBlahJanuary 26, 2011 at 10:05 PM

    @ Sucio Sanchez - Definitely does, this is something I'm going to ponder away at when I'm in Amsterdam :D

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousJanuary 26, 2011 at 10:16 PM

    I don't think I'd want to piss one off!

    followed

    blundersfrom6foot2.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  21. RylaiJanuary 26, 2011 at 10:23 PM

    hahahaha thats some thorough analysis

    follow
    ballandkicks.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  22. CopyboyJanuary 26, 2011 at 10:36 PM

    Well now I know who to go to if I have a question about Horny whales.

    ReplyDelete
  23. shishimaruJanuary 26, 2011 at 10:45 PM

    I cant help but agree with you that narwhals are most likely to be unicorns... also that song is awesome and anything that invented shishkebabs is my friend. >:3

    ReplyDelete
  24. JordanJanuary 27, 2011 at 12:06 AM

    that is some great insight thanks for posting this, followed!

    ectomorphmuscle.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. BartJanuary 27, 2011 at 12:19 AM

    lol wut i thought these were just funny animals found in comic books...also your captcha's are still on

    ReplyDelete
  26. SamuelJanuary 27, 2011 at 12:29 AM

    NARWHALLS NARWHALLS LIVING IN THE OCEAN.

    Yeah. Now it's stuck in my head. Thanks.

    http://cg-illumination.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  27. AnonymousJanuary 27, 2011 at 12:32 AM

    Now I'm going to start debating between narwhals and unicorns in debate class lol

    ReplyDelete
  28. ArcitaJanuary 27, 2011 at 1:23 AM

    lmao. 5 star post. hit me back

    ReplyDelete
  29. ChrisJanuary 27, 2011 at 1:45 AM

    I think its hard to deny the linkage

    ReplyDelete
  30. DooJanuary 27, 2011 at 2:08 AM

    They might be? We will never know :D

    ReplyDelete
  31. A Beer for the ShowerJanuary 27, 2011 at 2:26 AM

    We need this kind of information taught in our public schools.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Das Auto!January 27, 2011 at 2:57 AM

    I never acknowledged the correlation between these two creatures... interesting perspective

    ReplyDelete
  33. Cpt PownzorJanuary 27, 2011 at 6:16 AM

    hey close enough. seacow thing with a horn vs land horse with a horn. To a drunken sailor its the same thing

    ReplyDelete
  34. MKDJanuary 27, 2011 at 6:51 AM

    The Narwhals reminded me of Futurama movie #1 - Benders Big Score.

    Following :)
    http://the-viral-network.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  35. AnonymousJanuary 27, 2011 at 6:54 AM

    Your logic is flawless good sir. I will never look at Narwhals the same now, lol.

    http://cmipigeon.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  36. that guyJanuary 27, 2011 at 7:31 AM

    wait what? huh. the whale singing in the background may have put me to sleep.

    intersting post...
    Bruce
    Bruce Johnson JADIP
    Evil Twin
    stupid stuff I see and hear
    The Dreamodeling Guy
    dreamodeling!
    The Guy Book
    The Guy Book

    ReplyDelete
  37. The Game Store GuyJanuary 27, 2011 at 8:12 AM

    Your evidence is clearly irrefutable...we must confront the Narwhals and exploit them of their magical powers.

    ReplyDelete
  38. ZakkJanuary 27, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    I love the futurama movie with the narwal!

    ReplyDelete
  39. AnonymousJanuary 27, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    Loved the post, and awesome blog! :) Following and supporting!

    http://blazaimagenes.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  40. tyroneJanuary 27, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    sea dragons lmao. good post and funny video, followed.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Justsayin'January 27, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    Great blog. Following

    ReplyDelete
  42. BENJanuary 27, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    awesome.. :D
    thefitmuscle.blogspot.com
    followed! :D

    ReplyDelete

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