People Who Like The Crap I Write About

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Sudoku Pisses Me Off And Red Wine Makes It Worse


Have you ever attempted the game of sudoku? Basically it's a number puzzle game that really gets you thinking. And it also has the ability to turn you into a pathetic, Jeopardy reject, drunk!

Usually when you buy a book it's divided into 3 sections:
Beginner
Intermediate
Advanced

It's kind of like life, it makes sense, right?

Generally I stick to the 'Beginner' section because it makes me feel smart when I easily finish one of the puzzles in just a few minutes time. I feel great inside and it brings on a false surge of self confidence.

Naturally, I get a little bit of an ego and move on to the 'Intermediate' section. The puzzles are a bit harder, but I'm still capable of completing them, just not as quickly.

When I finally complete that section, I usually yell, "Ha! I am SO a fucking genius! Take that Alex Trebek!"

And then the last section after this is 'Advanced'. This is No Man's Land for me. I wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole. Otherwise I end up ripping my hair out, swearing every 3 seconds, and I'd eventually end up lighting my car on fire and throwing the book into the flames like Crazy Harry from The Muppets!


Which instantly gives me back my dignity, but then makes me sad because I have no car to drive...

Well, this is NOT the case with the pocket sudoku book I got for Christmas.

This book has NO sections! It's ALL advanced! God forbid the creator of this particular book would give me a break and let me work my way into an angry fit rather than just throwing me into the pits of insanity right away!!!!!!!!!!!

I bet the creator of this sudoku book said "Oh fuck it, I'm just going to piss off all the fuck-tards that could never make it on Jeopardy!"


Know what makes it even worse? Drinking 2 bottles of red wine while trying to complete it!

Because it leads to this:




Which leads to this:




Which then leads to this:




Which eventually leads to this:


Ok, maybe I can live with that...

Fuck you advanced sudoku and Alex Trebek!

43 comments:

  1. Hey there girl! Dee here just to say I stumbled upon your blog and think it's really neato. I really love sudoku... I can only do the easy-medium ones though. You should definitely check out my blog about random poetry. I'm sure you'll find something you'll enjoy!
    http://randompoemblog.blogspot.com/

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  2. ah sudoku..... I totally understand how you feel. The harder ones make me want to murder whoever I see first with the damn sudoku book! >:3

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  3. Sudokus make me feel so stupid. Stupid sudokus.

    wellthisdoesntsuck.blogspot.com

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  4. haha...tried sodoku, but never finish one.. :P
    thefitmuscle.blogspot.com

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  5. Sodoku is actually a really good game, great for your brain.

    Leo,
    http://simplykidleo.blogspot.com/

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  6. I don't play that game. Never tried it. I guess I am lucky since it means that I won't ever need therapy or red wine.

    But my kids play it a lot. I guess I know what to get them for Christmas.

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  7. Sudoku master here. Or the duke of sudoku. Call me whatever you want. But I rock the advanced ones. And the expert ones.
    Drunk or not. :P

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  8. One of my old managers was hooked on that game and would play all the time on his breaks. I never played though, I prefer sitting on my ass doing nothing during my breaks not stressing my brain even more.

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  9. I love sudoku. I started with the sudoku for dummies book. It actually teaches you all the techniques you need to do the puzzles even the hard ones.

    I just wish they had a Jeopardy for dummies book.

    Fuck you Alex Trebek indeed. (without those cue cards he would be dumb as fuck)

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  10. Checking in on the zaniness that is you. Always entertaining.

    theladiets.blogspot.com

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  11. I have to admitt that i haven't solved a sudoku at all. So you can feel smart again :)

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  12. Wow, Sudoku can be blamed for pretty much all of lifes problems then. Which is bad, because it's so addicting >.>

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  13. never learned how to do Sudoku

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  14. nice post so many lulz were had

    ectomorphmuscle.blogspot.com

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  15. One of my friends is in love with Sudoku because he loves math. It must have been really frustrating while drunk trying to complete these sudokus lol

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  16. I used to make sudoku's daily. I decided to quit, when I realized I was looking for hidden messages in every puzzle...

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  17. Damn straight, numbers are for nerds, also please get rid of captcha

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  18. hahahaah!! maad funny post dude
    i never got sudoku

    support n follow this funny thing
    ballandkicks.blogspot.com

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  19. Who knew someone could make Sodoku with 2 bottles of red wine so funny. Love the toilet pic. Did you pose for that? ;)

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  20. I'm one of those people that never got into sudoku. I never saw the point of it. Anyways, interesting blog. I love the layout and the originality. Definitely following.


    http://juiceishere.blogspot.com/

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  21. Have you seen the Android app where you take a photo of the Sudoku and it solves it for you?

    It's awesome. And free

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  22. Thanks for the comment and follow! I hate sudoku with a blaring passion but I do love red wine. What's your favorite type? I tend to like Sangiovese.

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  23. I never got sudoku and I hate that since it always made me feel stupid for not getting it. My 12 grade math teacher required we did a sudoku every week. I cheated each time.

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  24. I can't do sudoku because I'll just end up getting pissed off that I lost to a numbers game that involves only the numbers 1-9. Makes you sound like a retard for losing, advanced or not.

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  25. the only time I do sudoku is when I a LOT of long flights to take, and can't get any good medicine. Why? I don't know. Maybe because I am a lot less afraid of dying when I am so pissed off I could spike the plane like a foot ball?

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  26. sodoku was designed to make us normal people realize just how far away from Mensa we really are. On the upside we do not have to wear Geranimals.

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  27. Dammit Trebek! :D

    Cheers,
    ~bp
    wtfamidoinginidaho.blogspot.com

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  28. Hehe, funny post. sudoku is fun to mispronounce XD

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  29. I hate sudoko, that game hurts my soul.

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  30. The closest I get to playing with numbers is buying lottery tickets lol. Sudoku can suck my balls

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  31. Sudoku is hard! I don't have the patience for it... Funny post, following and supporting :)

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  32. Oh, I find it a lot easier the more that I drink.
    Just fill in the squares and who cares if it's right.
    And there is no one to check

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  33. Hahaha I'm glad to know the majority thinks sudoku sucks ass! Now I don't feel so bad! Thanks for all the comments guys, you've made my day :D

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  34. I never really got into Sudoku I'm more of a chess person

    http://nemeink.blogspot.com/

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  35. Haha. Checkers is generally the upper limit of my problem solving abilities. Sudoku? Fugeddaboutit.

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  36. You certainly live dangerously. I say you should attempt it after 2 bottles of tequila :)

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