Have you ever attempted the game of sudoku? Basically it's a number puzzle game that really gets you thinking. And it also has the ability to turn you into a pathetic, Jeopardy reject, drunk!
Usually when you buy a book it's divided into 3 sections:
It's kind of like life, it makes sense, right?
Generally I stick to the 'Beginner' section because it makes me feel smart when I easily finish one of the puzzles in just a few minutes time. I feel great inside and it brings on a false surge of self confidence.
Naturally, I get a little bit of an ego and move on to the 'Intermediate' section. The puzzles are a bit harder, but I'm still capable of completing them, just not as quickly.
When I finally complete that section, I usually yell, "Ha! I am SO a fucking genius! Take that Alex Trebek!"
And then the last section after this is 'Advanced'. This is No Man's Land for me. I wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole. Otherwise I end up ripping my hair out, swearing every 3 seconds, and I'd eventually end up lighting my car on fire and throwing the book into the flames like Crazy Harry from The Muppets!
Which instantly gives me back my dignity, but then makes me sad because I have no car to drive...
Well, this is NOT the case with the pocket sudoku book I got for Christmas.
This book has NO sections! It's ALL advanced! God forbid the creator of this particular book would give me a break and let me work my way into an angry fit rather than just throwing me into the pits of insanity right away!!!!!!!!!!!
I bet the creator of this sudoku book said "Oh fuck it, I'm just going to piss off all the fuck-tards that could never make it on Jeopardy!"
Know what makes it even worse? Drinking 2 bottles of red wine while trying to complete it!
Because it leads to this:
Which leads to this:
Which then leads to this:
Which eventually leads to this:
Ok, maybe I can live with that...
Fuck you advanced sudoku and Alex Trebek!