I Winned An Award! Yay!

First thing's first, I cannot believe I have over 100 followers now! WTF?!? Yeah, I'm still stunned! So I want to thank you all for following my blog and pretending to think it's funny and interesting! It really makes my day! Also, I'm sorry if I don't respond to all your comments, but please keep in mind, I DO read every single one of them that you leave and I most certainly laugh at all of them! As for your blogs, I always try to read as many of them as I can and I always leave a comment when I do!

Next order of business! An update on my revenge on Derrick! Yes, I know a lot of you were interested to see what I would do to get back at the poor guy. Although some of you gave some great ideas, like shitting on his chest or sending him gay porn, that would take more effort than I'm willing to give! So, with the help of a couple fellow bloggers, I think I've got him back! That's right Isaac, you said it looks like Derrick wins? I beg to differ! Muhahahahahahaha!

With the help of Sucio Sanchez, he took into careful consideration the fact that Derrick is indeed a Mormon AND from Utah. Double whammy! So after pondering for a split second, he performed a little magic and added him to his glorious Mormon Porn creations! I could not stop laughing when I saw this! Thanks Sucio, high virtual five bro!

Next we have NooG's spin on getting revenge on Derrick. After I personally requested him to showcase Derrick as a poop loving ninja, this is what I received! Hahaha holy hell, there's even a poop dragon behind him! How on earth did he come up with this? Fucking genius!

Check out both their blogs, they're awesome!

All in all, I won Derrick! Take that!

Now onto some other stuff that doesn't involve stupid Derrick!

Bruce from brucejohnson JADIP presented me with The LOL Award!

Holy wow, my first ever blogging award! Next is the Nobel Peace Prize I tell ya!

Thanks Bruce! The second I saw you had a ginger beard and the wit of a drunk monk (that's a good thing), I knew you were full of awesomeness! Check out his blog if you haven't already :D

And the rules of this award?

1.Link to the person who gave you this award. (In a post, or in your sidebar, wherever you have this) CHECK

2.Pass the award along to seven other people who post about at least slightly amusing things and tell them. Either by emailing them or commenting on a post, etc.

3.Say seven things about yourself that no one knows. (Or at least you think no one knows.)

CHECK

4.Pass these rules on. (copy and paste this winners!)

Hmmmm 7 things about myself? Dammit!

1. I used to dream of marrying all of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when I was a child, my wedding was completely planned out. Cake made out of pepperoni pizza and everything! That bitch April was NOT invited!
2. I have a fear of drinking water that's been sitting out overnight. My husband Paul and I have regular debates about this as he can't understand why it's okay for the water to be a billion years old but I can't drink it if it's been in a cup overnight. Because there's dust particles, aka skin cells in it!!!
3. I saw the movie Titanic 5 times when it first came out in the movie theater, cried the first 2 times when Jack died (sorry I ruined the ending, PS old lady Rose dies in the end!) and begged my mom for the Heart of the Ocean necklace that Christmas, and got it. Damn, was I cool!?!
4. I'm a very cheap date, I love the dollar movies and 2 drinks gets me plastered! Literally!
5. I lived in Utah my entire life and have never been skiing, what's wrong with me?!?
6. I met my husband on MySpace of all places! Crazy huh?
7. The first time I ate a beet, I was 8 years old and I thought it was a grape gummy bear. Boy was I wrong! I threw up my entire Thanksgiving dinner that day!

And now 7 people, in no particular order, who crack me up every time I read their blog and pass this award on to are:

Oilfield Trash - Always has some funny spin on life and the hand he's been dealt with!

Sucio Sanchez - Hilarious and gifted when it comes to GIMP!

NooG - Very creative and humorous blog, he's a Photoshop genius with a sense of humor!

A Beer For The Shower - His wit is out of this world and he looks great in a suit! Need I say more?

2 Hard - I don't know how he comes up with some of his stuff, but he never ceases to make me laugh!

Mister Sharaf - Want to not be bored anymore and laugh a lot? Check out his blog!

And last but not least, good old Brucey boy! Sorry, but I have to pass this one back to you as you do make me laugh hysterically with your comments and your posts!

Well that's all for now folks! Have a greaaaaaaaaat day!

How Can I Get Revenge On Derrick?

That's my dude friend Derrick above (who I blog about a lot because he is naturally stupid and an excellent waste-of-blog-space material)

A little background first:

About 3 years ago or so, I made the mistake of getting drunk while letting him and my other dude friend Mark, stay over at our place before they flew back to Salt Lake from Dublin...What's so bad about that you ask? They recorded my entire drunken episode!

To this day, Derrick still has footage of me drunk off my ass, rambling on about the pink Power Ranger (my fave) and God knows what else! He uses it as ammo and blackmail often.

I know, it's funny right?!??!?

Not!

One thing I have learned, is to never, ever, EVER get drunk while someone has a camera rolling!

Anyway, a week or so ago, I posted this on Derrick's Facebook page because that stupid bird on the right reminded me of him:

Well he took a snapshot from the footage and posted this on my Facebook page with the message: 'Two can play this game':

Ok, now that we've all stopped laughing, I'm livid! What should I do to get revenge?!? I'm almost 5,000 miles away so it has to be legal, clever and plausible!

Thanks for your suggestions in advance!

Presents I Hope I Get For Christmas So I Can Re-Gift Them

Hey guys, Christmas is right around the corner, are you excited?!? I am!

So I've made a list of items I hope I get for Christmas this year, just so I can give them away because I'm cheap. I hope this list helps you just in case you get one of these as presents and want to re-gift them as well.

Great for couch potatoes, warlock wanna-bes and Anemics.

Calling all Dungeons & Dragons freaks! This would go perfect with their invisible cloak and dagger of knowledge.

Great re-gift for someone who is getting married. Or just play it safe and give it to a stripper.

Perfect re-gift for someone who thinks something like this is clever. Even though it's not. (At least we both know that.)

Is it just me or does she look like she's been drugged? Anywho, this is a great re-gift for a drugged model.

I'm actually going to keep this one for me. The poop stuffed 'animal' alone is worth it!

For anyone who has ever wanted to be cool. Period.

Great re-gift for someone with a drinking problem. They'll really appreciate your generosity and thoughtfulness when it comes to their 'problem'!

To that person that's extremely racist but doesn't realize it. Think they'd get the hint? Mmmm Nazi bling!

To the asshole who has everything. No way in hell would they already have an armadillo handbag. If they do, I'll re-gift them a punch in their face instead.

To someone who just happens to have time to put a puzzle together the second their alarm goes off...WTF?

To that person who just hasn't gotten laid yet (Derrick)...

Excellent for someone who loves gloves but refuses to wear underwear. Confused?

To that person who just never seems to have money to go out so you always have to end up footing the bill.