Wolf & Coyote Piss For Sale!

God, I feel awesome! Wanna know why?

I came across wolf urine while looking at stuff on Amazon!

What a find!

I'd really like to get some of this stuff!

Yours for only 31.95!

Wolf Piss

I then came across coyote urine which Amazon also sells for only 29.95!

Coyote Piss

After laughing for a few minutes and patting myself on my back for discovering my glorious find, I was immediately confused as to why coyote urine is cheaper than wolf urine.

I mean really, who decides how much urine should cost in the first place?

So what do I do?

I eat a few yogurt rice cakes and a spoonful of peanut butter right out of the jar....Hmmm yeah more like half the jar....Then I get angry at myself for being a stupid gluttonous pig....Which makes me cry and yell at my reflection in the mirror...."Who eats half a jar of God damn peanut butter in one sitting?!? Certainly not Kate fucking Moss!" Then I realize I've gotta blog post to finish so I pull myself together....And I email the company directly....

So the other day, I emailed Deer Busters, and of course I was not expecting to get an email in return just like the last time I emailed the egg company about my double yolked eggs.

Anyway, here's my email to them:

Hi there,

I came across the wolf urine and coyote urine you have for sale on
your website and I noticed wolf urine was slightly more expensive than
coyote urine and this got the wheels in my head turning. Can you tell
me what exactly you base the price of them on?

I mean, is it harder to get urine from a wolf than it is from a
coyote? Perhaps wolf urine is worth more because they are also seen as
mystical and mysterious creatures? I'm sure you've seen those t-shirts
with wolves howling at the moon and there's usually a wizard somewhere
in the picture! Any who, I know that wolves are considered endangered
and threatened as a species, with that in mind, don't you think you
should up the price just a tad?

According to Wiki, wolves and coyotes do mate and their offspring is
known as a 'Coywolf'. God, I didn't see that coming! Think they could
have been a little more creative? I do! Perhaps you should sell
coywolf urine as well, just to make it easier for all the people who
can't decide which urine they should go with. When it comes to buying
urine, it shouldn't be only black or white, throw a little gray in
there and set yourself apart from all your competitors! Just a
thought!

Anyway, I know you get stupid emails like this all of the time, but
I'm just hoping you actually take me a teeny, tiny bit serious so I
can learn good and of course blog about it. I look forward to you
response!

Kind Regards

Amber

***THEY EMAILED ME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***

Amber,

I only know we base the price on our costs. I have no idea how they collect it just that it comes in barrels from a licensed nuisance wildlife professional. I would recommend using the urine product where those predators are present in your area.

Thanks,

Martin Havrilla
Marketing Manager
martin@tridentcorp.com
Phone: 1-301-694-6072
Toll Free: 1-888-422-3337


www.mastergardening.com
www.deerbusters.com

Yeah, ok, not that long of a response, BUT IT'S SOMETHING!!!! Haha, I'm making progress, how do you like that? I'm like the Abraham Lincoln of writing stupid emails to get a reaction!

On a side note, I also came across this picture of a fat guy in a car and it made me feel not so bad for eating all that peanutbutter :)