2011 New Years Resolutions And Such

Wow, sorry about going AWOL on my blog the last couple weeks, it's just that the holidays really take the life out of me! Plus I got the flu and have been pretty close to death's fugly door this last week. No seriously, when I get sick, I retain a shit load of water, break out and makeup just seems to magnify my ugliness. This is what I see in the mirror when I get sick:

At least I still do my hair all cute, don't I? But hey, I'm almost all better now, so don't be turned off just yet!

Any who, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year! You know, the more I think about it, 2010 was full of shit wasn't it? That's all right, I have a very good feeling 2011 will be an amazing year! Thank you Jesus, it's about time!

Here's my 2011 New Year's resolution list:

1. Not fart as much as I usually do, but switch to burping instead. It's far more socially accepted and easier to muffle in libraries.
2. Eat less Greek yogurt, it's going to be the death of me!
3. Watch more TV and read less. Do you know how many of my favorite shows I've missed trying to get smarter?!?
4. Play more video games and do less housework. More 'Me Time'!
5. Stop making fun of people behind their back, instead make fun of them to their face.
6. Lose all the weight I gained from overeating on Christmas eve, Christmas, the day after Christmas and all other 362 days this year.
7. Be wiser and offer annoying and unsolicited advice often.
8. Start drinking more. Particularly red wine instead of white and Guinness instead of Heineken. The more the better.
9. Be more daring. Think bright blue eye shadow daring.
10. Make more of a conversation with taxi drivers instead of letting Paul deal with it every time. What? How can you seriously talk about the weather every time you get into a taxi?!?

Think I can actually stick to them?

What are you guys setting as your resolutions?